To Date, or not to Date...

         ...That is the Question!

Kelsey R. and Jade P

   A-3

     Here in twenty first century America, there are certain customs and practices that don't exactly correlate with traditional Indian beliefs.  An especially important matter is the difference between modern and traditional dating and marriage, for the second generation of Indian American youth.  This topic interests me and my partner because it has to do with people our age.  For example, in American society, "dating" usually starts in early teenage years, but traditionally, Indian teens aren't supposed to date at all, and marriages are arranged.  How do Indian teens deal with the contrasting beliefs?  Some secretly do so anyway, and try to find ways around the rules.  Also, being IA students, we know and are friends with people who know first-hand, what is going on.  Many people here have parents from different countries, (a lot from India) and complain about the difference between their cultural traditions getting in the way of what they want to do.  Its easy to see the constant tug of war between Indian and American cultures. 

        This picture shows one of the rituals that happen during a traditional Indian wedding.  This one imparticular shows a

wedding in the States, however, the couple is holding on to Indian tradition...literally actually.

    This picture shows a "modern" Indian couple, dating.  Traditionally, dating isnt permitted, and parents are in charge

of finding suitors for their children, but in today's society, slowly but surely things are changing.

Dialogue:

This is a canversation that is trying to help show the difference in ideas about dating in the 1st and second generations of an indian family. A daughter and a mother disscuss their points of view.

D= Daughter (modern)

M=Mother (traditional)

D- Guess what mom?

M- What?

D- I heard from sammy who talked to fiona who got a message from joannie who got a text from joey who said that his friend billy likes me!

M- What?

D- Billy likes me!

M- Do I know this boy?

D- No, he's from school.

M- Well, thats all fine and dandy, but you really shouldnt be dating another boy...

D- BUT..

M- Your father and I have already found a good indian boy who would make a great future husband.

D- But mom, I dont want to marry this indian boy, mom ...i like billy.

M- Okay, if you dont like this indian boy, we will find you another one that you can see if he suits you any better.

D- I dont want to pick another boy, I like BILLY!

M- But thats not how I did it in my time.

D- But I'm not YOU.

M- I know but it has to be done this way, my parents did it this way and their parents too..we weren't allowed to date anybody.

D- but why cant I date?

M- ...Becuase you arent allowed to. If you do date, you'll break the tradition and go against all that your past family has done for years on end. This is just the way it has to be done.

M- I can see this isnt going to end soon.

D- I like BILLY!

M- You dont know whats good for you. We'll talk later. That nice indian boy is here.

 Picture URLs:

First Picture:

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/23/national/23india.html?_r=1&oref=slogin 

Second Picture:

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://lh6.google.com/callravi/Rndvs-cfNTI/AAAAAAAABts/ST9OA2wrmpE/shilipa.jpg&imgrefurl=http://bolllywood.blogspot.com/2007_12_01_archive.html&h=500&w=333&sz=26&hl=en&start=180&tbnid=pVQiHOZeuVvZTM:&tbnh=130&tbnw=87&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dmodern%2Bindian%2Bdating%26start%3D160%26gbv%3D2%26ndsp%3D20%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN

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